Wakey wakey, it's times to get up,
And go to work.
Hey, Great Buddha, Get up.
Teacher, Dragon and Tiger,
Get up. It's time for work.
Eternal Goddess hurry up...
Sorry, can your majesty please wake up too?
Don't make my job any harder, please. Thanks.
Holy Mother, you still asleep?
It won't be pretty when your eyes swollen up.
Iron-crutch, Lu Dongbin, Philosopher, Nata,
What's is wrong with you guys?
You are all grownups, should be up by now.
Get out of bed.
Do I need to get my shovel to get you guys up?
Wake up!
A morning call from Thunder,
Beat you till you go to sleep, hit you till you are awake.
Done.
Final morning sales.
Please come and buy or I'm finished.
Here comes the God of Prosperity.
- Thunder, good morning. - Thunder, good morning.
Open up so early?
The early bloomers have food to eat,
And the late bloomers, well...
- This is for you... - Thank you.
But why are the both of you...
Dressed up in ancient costumes today?
We are going to a photo shoot for our poster.
As you know, the Chinese New Year is coming.
I love giving away money and she loves lending money.
We are fully occupied these days.
That reminds me...
- Have you had breakfast yet? - No.
Now you mention it, I'm a bit hungry.
Thunder, any recommendations today?
You are such a beauty.
What you need most is a nutritious breakfast.
How about a peach?
Peach again.
I am fed up eating it for every meal.
- The Square Peach! - Square peach?
This is the latest product from my inventions.
It is not only sweet and juicy like the traditional peach,
But it also have an attractive look, in a cube.
It is simple
But beautiful with a hint of pride.
But look at these corners,
My stomach can't take that.
Don't worry.
Square Peach is only its real name,
Its nickname is "Rubix Peach".
It turns into whatever you like it to be.
This is...
It's a swan.
Thunder, what are you making me?
Let see.
Your eyes are yellowish. Exhale please.
You have bad breath. Not enough protein, eggs for you.
Eggs? No way, I hate eggs.
And recently they have found poison in eggs too. No way.
This is great staff.
My latest invention... Vibrator Egg.
But the name is so ugly.
But it does exactly as its name.
It so fresh that it vibrates, wait till you hold it.
Wow, It's really vibrating.
New, exciting and fun.
Fulfill 3 wishes at once.
We have to go now, we are in a rush.
Yes, better take a few more promotion photos.
Damn! Both of you are so rich yet so stingy.
Assholes
Monkey? Monkey!
Monkey, stop running.
Why did you run? Why didn't you buy breakfast?
Nothing.
What do you mean nothing! There are all kinds of food!
Hey! Piggy!
Hey, what are your names?
How can you forget everything after you sleep?
- Monkey. - Thunder.
Thunder.
Thunder...
The Saint of Nine Heaven is calling for me.
Thunder...
She is calling me.
That's right, she's your girlfriend.
- You miss me already? - Come with me.
For what?
What are you going in, why so nervous?
What is it?
- Come here so early? - Hold on for one second.
Have you ever promised a mortal anything?
No. Of course not.
They have to get approval
Before we can process with any mortal prayer.
If we are lazy. This year they get better luck.
Next year, it's another guy's turn. Why do you ask?
Watch this first.
Who hit me with this ball?
Who is it? Is it You? Or you?
Fat boy, it must be you.
No...
I don't care if it's you or not you.
All you need to know is, this is my territory.
Who allowed you to come here? Where are you from?
I am from P.3A Hunan Primary School.
The Hunan gangs then.
Fine! Let me tell you a secret.
It's my birthday today. You know what to do.
Happy birthday.
That's not what I'm asking.
What does your mom do for you when it's your birthday?
Think, fat boy,
What does your mom do?
You freak!
Why did you slip me your tongue?
How am I going to lead my gang now?
Fine. Old rule.
Old rule.
Boss.
Old Rule is to beat the hell out of you, you know why, right?
Say it "You're welcome, please, thank you."
You're welcome, please, thank you.
Close your eyes so the blood won't go in there!
Bro? Bro? Are you okay?
I think I'm having cramps!
Soft drink is for drinking, not for beating.
A group of men bullying a kid,
What kind of hero are you guys?
Dude, it's none of your business.
Want to get you ass kicked?!
What's happening?
Fat boy, I'm not frightened of you
Even if you bring someone
Who can play magic.
What? Do you know who I am!
I am Kun.
My voices... my voices...
Why don't you go and check with a doctor first.
If not, you may lose your voice tonight.
Where can I find a doctor?
Fat boy, be careful.
I'll be back.
- Say bye. - Bye.
You finished already?
Thanks for saving me.
Not at all.
It wasn't your fault.
Why were you afraid of them?
They looked violent.
Let me tell you,
If the rights are on your side,
You shouldn't be afraid of them, understand?
Yes.
I'd better go now.
What if they come back later?
If you encounter any problem in the future,
I'll come for you immediately,
Okay?
Thank you.
I go now.
You haven't tell me your name.
How do I look for you?
Fat boy, you have never seen me.
So, there are really paparazzi in heaven.
So you've seen it,
I didn't go down to meet girls.
I only went to help that kid.
If it wasn't for me handing in your proposal today,
And accidentally open your file,
You could be in real trouble.
Saint, you've been talking for so long,
But I still don't get where my mistakes were?
You let slipped a promise
That you should have never made.
You promised that you'll be there for him
When he's in trouble.
That's what people say
When meeting new friends.
That's how it's done.
He is now in his 30s.
But you didn't solve any one of his problems.
Being a God, you must be a man
Of your words.
Fine... Why don't you tell me how it ends.
You'll be fired.
I wonder if you...
Saint, tell the Emperor
That I'm in the toilet.
I'll be back in 3 minutes. Hold him up for me.
I will help that fat boy down below...
To solve all his problems before coming back.
Saint...
Why did you come back?
I bumped into the Emperor.
- Did he see you? - No.
That's good.
That's because I knocked him out.
What?
Saint, I really have to go.
Remember to tell the Emperor I'm going for a big one.
I'd better take the back door.
Hold on.
You gave me a peach
As a treat on our first date,
I secretly kept its seed.
Keep it and imagine I'm by your side.
And Thunder,
Be careful with everything you do.
Please don't get into any mortal affairs.
Saint, I'll never get into any affairs.
I'll always miss you
While I'm down on earth.
I'll be back soon, prepare my supper.
Throw up every time.
This is strange.
I should find myself in an Earth Temple.
Why am I here?
Thunder! Thunder!
You can see me?
No way, you don't recognize me?
You wanna die?
Not yet...
Shouldn't you be inside the Earth Temple?
It had always been an Earth Temple here.
But it was redeveloped a few years ago to a McDonalds.
Don't you see people everywhere,
They all come and visit.
Yes, but is there a need for uniform?
It's to avoid being notice.
Thunder, as you are here,
Want to try a strawberry milkshake...
To quench your thirst?
No, I'm here for some serious business.
Oh yes, this is your territory.
Can you help me look for someone?
You have find the right gangster... no... God.
- Who is it? - Hang on.
Here it is!
His name is Ding Dong.
Good morning Mr. Ding.
- Fix your hair. - Yes.
Good morning Mr. Ding.
Morning, you had egg sandwich as breakfast?
Did you stalk me?
- Oh, yes. - Be careful, okay?
- Good morning... - Good morning.
- New haircut. - Is it OK?
What are you doing?
- Morning. - Morning.
Morning, morning.
I've been waiting for so long, it's my turn.
I've been waiting for so long too. For this game!
Shut up and chill with a cigarette.
I don't smoke.
Hung, what is wrong with you?
You're still on probation. Do you want to go back to prison?
This is a new game.
- Mr. Ding. - Mr. Ding.
I asked you two to take care of him,
And now you're playing games together.
This is a new game. Wo is in it.
Really?
Just like the real person.
No energy, can't reach the baseline to cross.
Get to baseline...
Help...
Let the children play, you guys play.
Go to hell.
Why don't you two go in and take a look.
Help me...
Fatty, we got you this time!
I finally catch you kids.
Come to play tricks on me every week!
You kids can't keep messing around in the toilets.
This time it's water. I'll use my piss next time.
You shoot me.
This is piss. Are you happy with it?
How dare you use your piss?
Imps!
Mr. Ding, are you eating?
Pull me up.
Okay.
Oh no, we should call the police.
Police. I'd better go now.
I call the police for you.
Help me out.
I clarify that I didn't let my employee eat shit.
If I found that headline in the tomorrow's newspaper,
I will sue your newspaper till bankrupt.
Don, how do you explain yourself.
Mr. Pak, I didn't eat shit.
That's not the only problem,
They are saying I harbored your fetish, you dragged me into this.
No, I...
As they say on the streets...
Don't shit where you eat
Now you even eat your own shit.
You are so well tamed.
Sometime I really don't want to mention it,
But we got into this company together,
Now I am already a CEO.
You're still a chief. Why?
Some say that I rely on my wife to climb so high.
Some say that
I am a kept man.
Some also say that...
I don't have any real power.
But I can tell you.
All this is a simple misunderstanding.
Do I need to tell people...
I beat her up every night...
Before I sleep.
Morning, Mrs. Pak...
Or I tell you I have to whip her...
Before every meal?
Did you take notice of her teeth?
Its fake. She made it.
See with these nuts.
These are knuckles.
Whatever. My hands get itchy every time I talk about her.
Go...
Yes...
Mr. Pak, Mrs. Pak just arrived.
What? Where is she?
She just passed me.
Stop her, stop her!
Beautiful, you look so familiar.
You think it's still romantic
Using the same line for the past ten years.
Show me the account book.
Great, your slap...
Master,
You said we have to build a waterfall in the Shoes Department.
A greenhouse in the bags department.
And scape a hell in toys department.
Wouldn't that uses a lot of money? Quote me the price.
Mrs. Pak, I suggest we build a toned down hell,
That would only be 900 grand.
The waterfall needs around 600 grand.
And the greenhouse, it's just glass.
I will try my best to keep the budget...
Below 800 grand.
But there is still a question.
Bighead's price is something I can't decide.
But I think the total will be under $3 million.
It's so cheap. Did you make any mistakes?
Our account book...
Get lost.
Don, what are you doing here?
Why do you dress up like this?
I...
You wanted to say something?
You have something in mind?
Just answer Mrs. Pak's question carefully.
I think we can get the waterfall from the gifts department.
The "Happy Together" light...
It costs $200 after discount.
We can forget about the greenhouse.
As the air-conditioner in bags department is broken.
It's already hot like a greenhouse.
We can play the Bigheard on DVD
From the media department.
They can swim all day.
As for the hell...
Just like the one in Tiger Balm Garden.
The colleagues in toys department,
Are looking pale and bloodless from exhaustion.
They already make it looks like
A hell there.
Add up with all the sundries,
I think the budget will be under $500.
Mrs. Pak,
If you plan to spend
3 million in feng shui,
I suggest giving the money to our staffs.
We can have 10 grand each.
We haven't had our wages increased for so long.
We got our pay cut 5 times last year.
Impossible. I had given money out last year.
Shut up.
Ding Dong is reasonable.
Do what he said.
That's it.
Something stinks here.
He ate shit.
Since you ate shit,
You'll be on probation for 3 months from now.
If you still eat shit within 3 months,
No one will be able to help you.
I've been serving for 18 years...
You want to get fired now?
Go back to work.
Mrs. Pak, I'll go back to work.
- You mustn't listen to that... - That's it.
I'll go back to work too.
What're you two doing?
What are you playing at? Did you get hurt?
- Call me! - Daddy!
You are both fine... What were you two playing? Come over...
What kind of uncle are you?
How can you let them bang their heads?
I... gave... them... bucket...
Buckets are not enough.
You want them to die. I'm worried sick.
Where's your sister.
Room... room.
Room again. Did she get an inspiration?
You two love playing with buckets, right?
Yes...
Don't bang your own heads,
Bang uncle's.
Great!
No! No! No!
Honey, I'm home.
Honey, what are you doing?
Honey, you're real pretty when doing art.
Something you want to say?
Nothing, I just want to...
- You know? - Okay, I'll finish soon.
- How soon? - I'll be quicker if you stop disturbing me
I'll get ready first.
Come on Baby! Come on!
Do I make you horny? Do I? Do I?
I'm done, honey.
Really? We can do it now.
No... cook dinner first.
Dinner? You said we can do it?
See what time it is?
Whatever time it is, I can be very fast.
- More strength after dinner. - No.
- Yes. - No...
- What can I cook you? - Whatever.
Whatever.
Let's eat. Let's eat.
Hey, Fong... Fong...
I've cooked some soup for you.
Don't want it, I've just split up.
Your Richard is such a jerk anyway.
It is great if you two have split up.
I'm talking about Lawrence, not Richard.
When did you have a Lawrence?
The one who broke up with me yesterday is Lawrence.
The one who broke up with me the day before is Richard.
It doesn't matter who.
Just come out and eat your soup.
No! I want to watch the Hero Cho.
Hero Chu again?
Just leave her alone.
She'll come out when she is hungry.
You know she is like this every time
She splits up.
I'll leave the soup outside. Take it yourself.
She's like a prisoner.
- Okay, let's go. - Come and eat dear.
We'll have dinner first.
She is making me worry with the constant split ups.
Who is it?
Honey, you bring the soup out.
Who is it?
Who do you want?
Is this the Ding's family?
Yes. Who are you looking for?
- Ding Don please. - I am. Who are you?
- You are Ding Don? - I am.
I'm your cousin.
Cousin? Since when do I have a cousin.
- Cousin! - Hey, cousin!
Where have you been these days?
I worked as a sailor.
Stayed in Leaking Milk Republic.
As soon as we came to shore, I came here.
Leak what milk?
That's such an ugly name.
Such a coincidence. I have a map here.
- What a coincidence! - Yes.
Where is it?
It's the one opposite Diaoyu Island next to Hawaiian Sauna.
Here it is, cousin.
Hey guys, look who has come? It's my cousin.
Cousin, what's your name?
- I am Ray. - He is Ray.
Just call me Ray Ban.
Just call him Ray Ban.
I didn't know you have a cousin.
Could there... be... a mistakes?
Let's... eat... together now.
Let's eat.
Why are you disturbing my time with Hero Cho?
Guess who has come... it's your cousin.
Bonjour, Madame.
Hero Cho?
She is Ding Fong. Did you forget her?
She has just split up,
So she is a little confused.
Cousin? When do I have a cousin?
Forget it. Let me hug for a little bit longer.
Let's eat...
Let's eat now.
Let's eat.
I'm full. I got a date.
I'll be staying out overnight,
You can have my bed, see you.
Not stuttering again
And even staying out overnight, Great.
Look at his smile, he must be in love.
Bro, how long are you going to stay?
I come to visit some relatives, I'll leave soon.
Do you have a place to stay?
Forget it, he can stay here with us.
Great...
Miki,
You took $10000 from me to gamble?
This place is not suitable for you.
This is already much better than the others.
Last time, I gambled in a public toilet, which is worse.
People gambled and shitted at the same time.
It was such a scene.
You love gambling?
I am a loser from Miss Hong Kong.
Lots of Pressure. You want me find a gigolo instead?
No... No...
Let's go then.
Boss...
What?
Boss, the phoenix has won a lot
From our table!
- Did we cheat? - Of course.
Put her on the blacklist.
Let her go just like that?
We want money, do we need to kill for it?
We cheated and still lost, we'll be the laughing stock
When people finds out.
But do you need to hit so hard?
Someone's here to give money. Come on.
Miki,
Come to lose again?
Lose what? He's the one gambling.
Miki, I...
Dude, so you are good at gambling?
What would you like? I have everything here.
Solitaire.
No? How about Hearts?
Say something that is legal after 18.
Horse racing.
Damn it. Do you see any sandlot, any horses?
Say something you can find in Las Vegas.
Okay! Slot machines!
Damn it.
Stop saying things we haven't got.
I'll choose for you. Blackjack. Come on.
Go!
Move to another table.
Place your bet.
Small bet for recreation.
Dude, it is at least $10000
When I'm play with you.
- $10000? - Okay
Stop whining, let's go.
You know the rules.
This unbelievable.
Doesn't know that Boss know that.
Come on.
Ace! Ace! Ace! Ace!
Do we hit?
Hit or not?
Of course, 19 2 is 21.
Hit!
Really? Fine then.
What? Why isn't it 2?
What, you peeked?
This? It is to separate the cards.
It's of different colors.
And you thought it is for you?
I'm not such a fool. So?
How about another chance, do you want it?
Of course. Big or small.
Look how tired the boss look...
Okay. Place your bet.
What should we bet on?
Relax, stay calm.
What should we do?
What will you bet this time?
1,2,3, we buy small.
How much?
Hundred grand, small.
Hundred grand?
It's a sure win!
Do you have that much money?
He has.
Right?
Okay! I'll take your word. Open now... 4,5,6. Big.
Why isn't it 1,2,3?
What? You peeked again?
You think this photo
Is 1,2,3?
This is just to separate the basket.
And I love to trick
Those people who peeks.
You like this picture? Take it home and have fun with your family.
Miki, where's my $100, 000.
How about another round?
How about you play with me first?
Four-eyes, I know you don't have the money now.
I'll give you a week,
If you don't clear the debt, she's mine.
Okay, go, drag them out.
Go now, get up.
Hey...
Miki doesn't want me, and I'm in so much debt...
Got dumped, and lost all his money.
Hey, asshole.
- This side too. - Pussy-whipped.
He has no power at home.
It'll sort out quickly with help from friends.
This is much better.
He thinks he comes from a rich family.
Asshole.
This is the last one.
- Morning! - Morning!
We can go now, cousin.
Where are we going?
You hired me as your secretary yesterday.
I have planned today's schedule, let's go.
I didn't hired you as my secretary.
Why are you crying?
Don't wake cousin up.
Did you bully her?
No... I hired her as my secretary.
- Really? - Yes...
Why are you crying then?
Because she is happy.
- Right? - Yes, manager.
Secretary, stand straight...
Sister, are you okay? Why are you still crying?
I got a meeting at 10 a. m. yesterday.
But it changed to 7 a. m. today. And it's 9 a. m. now.
Great.
Will they wait for you?
I don't know.
You'd better go now.
They've been waiting for so long.
Hurry up...
Come back for dinner tonight, alright?
Stewed pig's trotter tonight. Bye.
Watch out! Ouch. Are you okay?
You follows Fatty's every move,
Contact me if anything happens.
Okay.
Thank you.
Bro, you've been to all the temples in Hong Kong today.
Your friends are so interesting.
They all live in the temple?
Are they monks or priests?
They are Gods.
Gods?
No. I meant they believe in Gods.
So they come to pray in temples.
Is it funny?
You think I'm a fool?
Only bad guys hide in temples.
What is it, you are doing something big?
You know something?
I'll keep it a secret, won't let it slip.
Call me if you need any help.
Okay.
Help.
Granny, what's wrong?
I got robbed.
Wait there.
What's your problem.
Dude, you want to pick a fight?
How can you guys robbed a granny?
Are you two real men?
Real men don't need to robbed handbags.
Stop babbling. Let's fight.
Why is this happening? What's wrong?
Have a drink, Hero Cho.
OK.
Merci Madame.
Where are we going next?
Wake up now.
There's no Hero Cho...
Gives me a second.
Thanks.
How long will they keep fighting?
I don't know. Maybe a while.
I'll take you home first.
Thank you.
- Where do you live? - That way.
- So close? - Right.
Damn it. I'm going to get fired.
It's about time.
It's obvious that Mr. Pak doesn't like you.
It's good for you to get fired.
Then us three can take over your place.
You bastards.
If I get fired, it'll be you three next.
He's right.
Hello.
Today is Mr. Pak's birthday.
We'll buy him a present together.
$100 each. And Don gives $1000.
Hand over the money now.
Why do I have to pay $1000?
Mr. Pak said
You are still in your probation period,
And you're such an asshole. That's why the $1000
I'll pay you later,
I haven't got enough cash with me now.
That's fine. You can give me later.
- Of course I trust you. - Why so nice?
You can't lose this job,
As you are damn useless,
Where can you go?
Alright, remember to pay me back. Bye.
She speaks with so much venom?
You see how powerful she is?
You see where we stand?
We need to do something.
I got it. Use all your coupons,
Ticket ends and points to exchange for a penthouse.
To hold a birthday party for Mr. Pak.
Surprise Party?
No.
I planned to exchange
For a Bali tour with my wife.
Tour?
You want to lose the job?
Stop hesitating. Make the call now.
Call what?
Call.
Hi, I am Ding Don. Yes.
What? I got a prize?
The prize is a penthouse?
What?
I can have all the champagne and caviar?
What? All you can take free towels and shampoo?
Great fireworks view.
But there isn't any fireworks tonight.
What? Fireworks for me? You're so kind.
The key is here already?
But I got to work tonight. Damn it.
That's it then. Bye.
You are so out of luck.
Such a great opportunity too.
Mr. Pak, since you seem so free all the time,
Why don't you take the penthouse?
I mean you can also take a penthouse
Up there to read?
I go to hundred of these parties every year.
But...
As we have been working together for 18 years,
I'll do you a favor and take it for you.
Mr. Pak, thanks a lot.
- Not at all. - Thank you...
Don, you decorate the place up...
And when it's empty...
Call us to come up.
Will it work?
You've got all these champagne and caviar for free.
Why are you still
Chasing after me?
I feel so excited
Whenever you speak French.
Stop it.
I can catch you...
Thank you.
Tell me, what did you see?
I saw you two running back and forth.
I saw you running back and forth.
Are you done yet? We should kill him.
You foreigners always want to kill so easily.
I haven't finished my questions yet.
The important question is, does my wife knows?
No, I am sure she doesn't.
She will never know if I don't tell her.
You can go now.
Really?
You are going to let him go?
What if he tells anyone?
We'll kill him now.
He won't.
He is still working for me.
And he has a whole family to feed.
Why are you still here?
I want to take back what I bought.
Leave it here for me.
Scramble. Your wife is looking for you now.
She is in the lobby, checking for your room number.
Lau, why don't you call me later?
Like when she is ringing the doorbell?
You said my wife doesn't know about this.
I don't know... She found out?
If I go down, it won't be good for you.
You are going down with me.
Just follow my lead
When they come up.
You asshole. What should I do with you?
Honey, why are you here?
Why are you here?
This fatty said he is having a surprise party for me.
And ask me to come by after 8.
So I came early to see what he was doing.
And found that he was having an affair.
Don, is that the truth?
Yes...
She will let you touch her?
Yeah. It's your turn to elaborate a little more.
Yes, he said he would give me this and that after we finish,
And I need this and that very much.
And the granny
Who lost her virginity last month,
That was also you.
That is true love.
But you are married.
Then it's an affair.
Our public image...
In southeast Asia has always been in the first place.
If this were to spread out,
It will definitely ruin our company's image.
By right, I must fired you at once.
But, since we came to this company together,
18 years ago, I'll give you a last chance.
You'll work in the lobby as a bellboy tomorrow.
8 months probation period.
- Mr. Pak... I... - 18 months.
I'm not that mean to him, right?
Disgusting.
Disgusting. Bye.
I'm home.
Daddy.
Brother-in-law.
Honey, I have cooked, just few more minutes.
You cooked?
My cousin is back.
The one who had left you 10 years ago
Without a word?
Your bathroom is so small.
Cousin-in-law, bonjour.
Sis, I'm hungry. Let's eat.
Why is he here?
And why are his suitcases all over the place?
He finally drifted back to Hong Kong.
I'm his only relative here.
I have to let him stay.
But we have no place for him.
He is an easygoing person.
He used to play street-corner skits everywhere. I admire him.
That means those who sleep, eat and shit...
And does everything on the street.
Isn't that a beggar?
There is a big difference.
Beggar gets paid, I don't.
Isn't that... worse than... a beggar?
You hit the point with a nail.
You seem to be questioning my culture for art.
Give me a moment.
We have a show to watch.
Ladies and gentlemen,
The show is called when Piggy meets the Pirate.
Bro, it's good that you are home,
There is a beggar show.
Beggar show? That's interesting.
Beggar, what is your show?
The show is called when Piggy meets the Pirate.
Your show seems big, are there enough space?
Of course. In fact, I don't move much.
This show
Is called when Piggy...
Let's get started.
Okay.
...meets a pirate.
Naked as a pig.
What kind of show is this?
I'm outraged. There are children here, you cheap.
He's your cousin?
Still angry with my cousin?
I haven't got the time.
Let's play a game?
What kind of game?
The naughtiest one.
How naughty?
As naughty as you want.
Really? Come on.
That's amazing...
It's fun.
This is not R rated, right?
Bro, I want to try it too.
Let me teach you. It's more interesting with two people.
- But can I do it? - Don't.
Of course, give me your hands.
I'll have a go.
It's dangerous, honey. No, you'll fall down.
We'd better practice outside.
Still awake, bro?
You too?
I used to sleep late.
Good stuff.
A beer and a pipe. Something on your mind.
Nothing.
Nothing? It doesn't look like it.
It's fine.
Tell me.
It's fine, don't be nosey.
Okay, I'll leave you be...
Bro, will you listen to me?
I love my wife very much.
But she loves art more than me.
I love my children too.
But they are not close to me.
This is good though. At least they will not...
Be as much of a loser as I am.
Don't say this.
I also have a sister lusting for boys.
A brother-in-law who's autistic and has a stammer.
And at work... my boss...
Forget it.
That's all?
Isn't it enough? There are so many things.
Even Gods cannot solve them.
Who said this?
They can solve everything.
That interesting?
Interesting?
Bro, let me tell you something.
I heard his when I was working as a sailor.
My friends all said it works.
Just put your palms together.
Close your eyes and in your heart...
Like this. Put your hands together. Close your eyes.
And in your heart, says the dream will come true.
Okay, bro. Don't make up a story...
To cheer me up. You are so nice...
You think I made up a story
To cheer you up?
This is a revamp of a true story.
Why don't you give a try? It's for free.
If it is useful,
You can just click your fingers,
And everything will come true in that week...
That would be great.
Then why don't you put your hands together.
Dreams come true...
I feel great now. Bro...
What the hell happen to you?
- I'm tired. - Why are you so tired?
- I am sleepy. - Go back to your room.
- Here would do nicely. - Sleep here?
Why do you sleep so violently?
It's interesting. After I spoke those words,
You are tired like this
On the other hand, I am so energetic.
It's a shame, honey has slept. Or else, it would be great.
I should have a good performance tonight
Honey, I am so cold. Come and hold me to sleep.
Welcome! Morning.
Welcome!
Fung Shui Lau speaking.
Lau, where have you been?
Pak, why are you calling? For high tea?
Yes, have tea.
The thing I told you last time.
About my stocks is in trouble. I've paid double.
I asked you find me a method,
So that my wife will pay for my debts.
That thing, I nearly forgot.
Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Just before you called me,
I have already thought up a plan for you.
What a coincidence?
You nearly forgot when I don't remind you.
And you have a solution as soon as I ask you?
Pak, I foretold your wife yesterday.
That she would bleed today.
But she would find her guardian angel.
That would help her turn bad luck into good fortune.
This guardian angel is her lucky star.
Are you reading me The Lord of the Rings?
All I want,
Is she paying for my debts, that's it.
Listen to me first. I have already arranged...
A guy from Mainland.
He will come by today.
And deals with your wife. You can save her then.
And your point is? Because I just want to pay my debts.
Pak, don't you understand?
You said your wife doesn't believe in you.
If you are her lucky star,
She will give you whatever you want.
Then there's no problem.
Really?
But can we rely on that Mainlander?
And how will she believes I'm her guardian angel.
I told your wife...
Her guardian angel would wear a big flower.
Where can I find a big flower?
I have it arranged already.
Where is it now?
Boss, just behind you.
Help... help...
Help...
Sir, sir...
The world is so cold.
Little girl, help me please, help me.
Let me help you?
Great. Thank you.
Hold on.
Thank you. You are so nice. Thank you.
I'd better go now. See ya.
How can you leave me here? You bitch.
Anybody help?
Miss, please help.
Sir, are you okay? Let me help you.
- I'm lame. - I know that.
You're so kind. You deserve a good fate.
You're the kindest fat bloke in the world.
Sir, can you give yourself a little push?
I'm lame. How can I push?
But you're just lame not paralyzed.
Push a little bit.
That's right. You bastard.
I remember that I was a great runner.
I was usually the first to get girls.
I would never have guessed I will be like this...
Accidents are unpredictable.
Accidents?
3 years ago, I held my lottery ticket...
Looking at the TV, with the winning numbers!
I thought even if I'm lame, there is nothing to worry about...
Then I really went lame,
After which I found out...
It was an old lottery ticket.
Bastard.
- Don't laugh... - Sorry.
I tell you,
After checking the numbers, remember!
You should check the date too.
Remember this!
- Sir, here you are. - What? Where?
The shoes are real great here.
Why you buy so many shoes?
You should always look on the bright side.
If I have faith, then I am sure I'll walk again.
Take it easy.
Yes...
Fat bloke, you bastard, I can walk again.
You bastard,
I will ask my mom to look at me running.
Get lost, Mainlander.
Yeah. You are blocking the way.
Where is the Mainlander?
Let's hide together.
Mrs. Pak, that's quick?
Should I just stand here and wait.
Until my head splits open? Take me home now.
When you went in, I made a prediction for you...
You will solve whatever comes
At you today.
- Just like that? - Not so simple.
Because I predicted you will have an guardian angel.
He will help you solve all the bad luck.
What kind of guardian angel?
He will wear a big flower.
Easy to recognize.
I'd rather get home now.
Who are you?
OK!
Robbery! Give me your shopping mall,
Or I'll kill her.
Can you hear me? It's a heist, I'll kill her.
We'd better hide, further away.
Relax.
I'll kill her.
It's fine.
Show time
Action...
Hold a little longer...
His weapon is bigger than my head.
I have to be very careful.
Hand in the shopping mall, or I'm leaving.
Can anyone hear me?
Release her first.
Are you mad?
What is happening?
How do I know?
I will kill you.
Put down your weapon!
Bro, how can you ask a robber to put down his weapon?
Why are you hiding here?
Why didn't you come out and save me?
I'll kill you.
Move on.
Why didn't you save me?
I'll revenge for you now.
How can you bully a woman? Get out.
Bastard.
He has got such a big flower. Wouldn't you be the guardian angel?
What guardian angel? It is just a decoration.
Get lost.
So you are my guardian angel?
Guardian angel?
I do have flower too...
Let it be, it's through.
Why do you dress up like that?
I have 18 months probation period.
You heard that too yesterday.
You are my personal assistant from now on.
And you are directly under my calls.
You wages increase 3 times.
Honey, what about me?
You are directly under him.
Under him?
Honey!
The girl...
You three, be careful, or you will trip and die.
What happened?
Horse, horse.
Really tripped and died?
Rise again!
I feel like rebirth.
I saw a white light pulling me in.
That was me.
Better go now.
I said die, and they died. I said rise and they rose.
Maybe there is something with dreams come true.
Better show off to my wife.
- Hey? - Brother-in-law... help.
Brother-in-law...
What are you doing?
What is the emergency?
My girlfriend has lost some money and now they got her.
I'll rescue her now.
Can you lend me some money?
What kind of person have you been seeing?
I met her on the Internet.
Stop talking, with interest, it's one million.
- One hundred or one million? - One million.
Where am I going to find
One million now?
I'll go and rescue her myself.
Gambling chick isn't right for you.
Would she be one of those con-artist...
Or it's a honey trap.
I don't care.
I'll rescue her even if it is a trap
This way.
Let my Miki go.
Want to run away?
If you have the money, then yeah!
I don't have it.
No money?
Put that woman in a box and send to the Philippines.
Yes.
Work as prostitute.
Hold on.
Let me exchange with her. I can work as a prostitute.
You are crazy.
You as a prostitute, I don't want to waste money.
Put her mom inside the box.
Her mom is not here.
I'm talking about this girl,
Not really her mum.
Hold on. Dare to gamble another round with us?
If we lose, we'll pay for her debt.
And give you another 2 millions.
2 millions?
If we win, just let us go.
Boss, don't fall for it.
- Fall for what? - A trap.
Dummy is controlling the slot machine
We wouldn't lose.
I'll gamble with you.
Dude, you laughed when we didn't have a slot machine.
We'll play slot the slot machine with you.
It's the fairest game in the world.
Whoever gets the highest points, who wins.
We're the dealer. We pull first.
Four stars...
Couldn't four sevens beat you?
Can you get a little bit smart?
We bugged the machine remember?
Dummy is behind this.
We don't want to make this too obvious.
- Just cheer together. - Yes.
Four stars...
1, 2, 3, 4 stars.
It's your turn. 2 millions. Hurry up...
Brother-in-law, can you?
Yeah, why don't you do it?
Me...?
You said you love her. You should do it.
But I...
Hold on, Gambling chick, let me tell you...
Gambling is the evilest thing in the world.
If you can get out unscathed this time,
Be a good girl from now on.
Don't make a promise you can't keep...
Just hurry up and talk when she's dead.
You troublemaker. Look at me, here's my advice.
True love needs true beliefs.
If you do love her,
Then you'll believe in pulling four sevens.
If you have to talk, do it at home.
Come on.
Four sevens.
Four sevens...
You.
It's obvious who the winner is, can we go now?
Bro, you let them to go?
What can we do that? We are looking for money.
We lost even we had cheated.
Go!
Let's go.
Next time when I'm gambling with someone,
You stay behind and mess around,
What are you doing out here?
Remember it.
Can I ask you a question, bro?
Go ahead.
You wear white clothes everyday.
Don't you feel embarrassed? You are like a walking sanitary pad.
What color do the pads not have?
They don't have black.
How come? Black pads should be best as they are not afraid to get dirty.
- That's right. - What the hell.
- Good morning. - Good morning, bro.
Good morning.
Going out so early for a meeting?
Yes.
I bought some rice rolls. Have some before going out.
Great...
Fong, help me...
Bring out the rice rolls from the kitchen.
Separate the pork rice roll
And prawn rice roll.
It's difficult...
How difficult? Come on...
Bro, this way...
You seems to be very happy today, as you bought breakfast.
That's right. I feel so great.
The method you taught me is really great.
Now I can get whatever I want.
All dreams come true. I'm very happy.
Congratulations.
But I have to warn you,
Don't use it to do bad things.
If not it'll be a lot trouble.
How bad can I get?
Pork buns! Chicken buns!
Custard buns! Beef balls!
Today, I'll teach you how to make a missile.
This is the inside of a missile. Do you get this?
We can revenge for Hussein now.
Who is it?
I want to join in too.
Honey.
Brother-in-law!
This way.
I'm back.
It's only the two of us tonight. What do you want to eat?
We'll eat out.
That's great. I've bought you a present.
Why did you buy me a present?
Because you saved Miki for me last time.
She has given up gambling
And found a job.
What does she do?
She is distributing cards at Macau's casino.
Suits her well.
Have you notice, since I've started dating her
Listen, I no longer have a stammer.
So I must buy you a big present.
You'd better buy me a real big one then.
It's too small.
Open it first!
Wow, "pop the cherry"!
This is old. Where did you get it?
I bought it off the internet.
No time to waste, put it on.
Get some crisps and popcorn, right?
Let me tell you.
Pop the Cherry was a classic porn film at my age.
When I was young and strong.
I used to watch it twice a day, after brushing my teeth.
That's why I bought it to watch with you.
So you can give me a commentary.
Who is that?
He is the prince of sex.
His motto is "Sex makes your hair strong".
Can't you see how bushy he is?
And his single eyelids.
Moreover, his small eyes, with such electricity. He is wonderful.
So many people used to fall for him.
What is this movie about?
It has great depth.
It's about a group of girls queuing up to pop their cherry.
He does that now. He will start with the black girl.
No one's home. We should scream out together.
Pop it! Pop it! Pop it!
Popped.
Then he will do that white girl.
Lets shout together.
Pop it! Pop it! Pop it!
I got myself all wet today, I'm all sweaty.
Bro.
Why don't you...
Change into something comfortable
And come into my room.
I only got suit only.
Do you feel comfortable in it?
Comfortable? Like fish in water!
It's the same as the movie.
Right.
No, let's watch on...
Why did he change into a woman?
He had a sex exchange operation.
Acting as both men and women. This is called "The Boat girl".
It's interesting. Look at him,
His motions are cool.
Still can't do it.
Music.
The bed's moving.
You have to rise your ass for easier entry.
See! It's all in, can you see it?
Cousin?
What butt, what all in?
Dance. Put your bottom up and it will go all the way in.
Why are you dancing on the bed?
It's so much more fun bouncing around.
So why did you kick open the door?
I... I want to dance too.
Come on.
- How? - Like this.
Obviously you don't trust us, and you think we're doing bad things.
I don't want to talk anymore. Bro, let's go.
Fong! Fong! Fong!
Cousin?
Fong.
How can they dance on a bed?
Yeah, the bed will break easily...
Yes.
Sis, I've known you for a while now.
But I didn't know that you like dancing.
I'm graduating from the dancing college this year.
Great? You do dance well.
There are so many concerts these days, you'll have a lot of opportunities.
You think so too?
Yes.
I think I am great too.
After hearing you out, I really want to see one of your dance.
Really, bro?
Of course.
I can start now. Give me a beat.
I should have said other things.
What? Are you ready?
Ready.
Do you think I'll be successful?
Yes!
If this is the point of success,
You are...
Just in the corner. You can see that.
No, it's here.
Whatever, cousin, thank you.
Let's go home now.
Cousin, I want to ask you a very important question.
What is it?
Do you have a girlfriend?
No, we sailors are loafers.
And we're always on the move, it's difficult...
Cousin?
What are you two doing here?
Still awake? Waiting for us?
I'm not the only one waiting.
That's nice. Who else?
Your girlfriend.
Little sister, you've been had.
Asshole.
Fong...
Excellent! Nobody is gonna "Pop the Cherry".
Enjoy yourself, the both of you.
I'm going to bed.
Who is that girl? Why did she slap you?
She is fat boy's sister.
I think she has great talents.
So I teach her my martial arts "Thunder hands".
You can see her hands were so fast.
So fast that even I can't block it!
So, what are you doing here?
I come to tell you,
Your thing is going to blow over soon.
Why?
Didn't you tell the Emperor I had to go for a shit?
I missed you so much, I forgot to tell.
You'd better go back and tell him, leave where you came.
No. I've never been here.
I want to stay with you.
What?
This is Central.
Why do I see couples with flowers
Everywhere we go today?
Today is Valentine's Day.
What is Valentine's day?
It's a festival for couples.
Now you mentioned, I'm piss off.
There's no seat at restaurants, and things are expensive.
Rents is expensive too.
Rents?
Rents? I said Mints.
There it is.
It's here, right here...
Thunder, isn't that your student?
Oh yeah... I forgot to tell her
To take a rest today.
Please wait for me here, I'll talk to her.
Okay.
Sis, what are you...
Bro, I thought about it,
And I don't mind if you have a girlfriend.
There're always competitions for good things,
And I'm up for a fight.
Hi. Since you are off today, why don't we eat together.
Okay.
Let's order first.
Hello. Welcome. Welcome.
Wanna try
Our Valentine's set meal?
Let's have the Valentine's set.
How about this madam on her own?
I am having the Valentine's set with him.
You're having the Valentine's set with you girlfriend...
And your girlfriend's friend too.
You are so lovely. Be careful that you might choke.
People say we are a perfect match. I tend to agree with it.
She is like that.
Let's eat the soup.
Eat the soup.
This flower is our Valentine's set gift.
It smells lovely. Look.
Hey, I have order two sets.
Shouldn't there be two flowers?
That's right.
We do have a flower for every set.
But after a discussion with our company,
We decided to give all the flowers
To this madam.
Because you are the only single customer here.
We hope that you can brace up,
And find your truth love soon.
And don't get fooled by asshole anymore.
Excuse me.
You bastard.
I'm leaving.
What is happening? Saint...
Saint...
Thunder, don't turn around.
I worried that you would start an affair
In the world of mortals.
Whenever a God starts a mortal affair,
It is like a fish with wings.
He will only remember flying in the sky.
And forget about swimming in the water.
Thunder.
We've known each other for 3000 years.
But you've been like a stranger to me
For the past two days.
I worry that one day, you will forget you are a God.
And forget me too.
Saint, I haven't, I haven't forgotten you.
See.
I take it with me everyday, I miss you everyday.
Look,
It can really turns back into a peach, we...
Saint...
Anyone see Saint?
Saint...
Big trouble.
How do you know?
I saw it.
Sister said she wants to be a drifter this morning.
Brother-in-law and her then started arguing.
And said she's leaving tonight.
That is big trouble. Let's take a look.
If you miss them then you shouldn't leave.
Bro, you should be the one who understanding me most.
Why did you say that?
As a sailor, you can go to all sort of places.
So much freedom, you can enjoy it from the heart.
And I think everyone deserve
This once in a life time.
So that we can find ourselves.
And find out what we're capable of doing.
Your cousin knows my dream.
Really?
I could have gone
But because of one person I couldn't.
My cousin?
Ding Ding.
But I didn't give up.
After a few years, I planned again, but then...
Ding Nik!
They are both good kids, and I feel I can go.
If I give birth to another child,
I will never be able to fulfill my dream.
It's just a year. Then my dreams will come true.
Where did you go?
Where is your sister?
In the garden.
Your cousin...
Is persuading her.
Cousin.
How did it go?
She has determined for that.
But lucky for you, there is still thirty minutes of magic power left...
Go and click your fingers.
And ask her to enjoy the dinner with us.
Honey, I have something to say.
You've been lecturing me whole day, there's more.
No, I just want to say,
As my wife you...
Cannot leave.
Cannot leave the family, our children behind,
And most importantly, you.
We've been through this many times.
I thought I would tell you I'm not leaving when you're back.
But you just get on my nerves. I'll leave now.
Honey, honey.
What I actually want to say is...
As my wife you shouldn't need to suffer.
Even if you drift, it needs to be comfortable.
Not like a beggar, eat,
Shit and sleep on the street.
Here are two first-class tickets.
I planned to travel the world with you when I'm off work.
But now, I'll let you and that beggar use them.
Don't want him to book some cheap airlines.
Stopover in so many place and tired you out.
And here are some traveler's cheques.
If you find yourself bore,
Just go shopping to cheer yourself up.
But remember, only book nice hotels.
Mattresses that aren't too soft, you know your bad back.
With internet access will be the best.
Because we can see each other through web cam.
You can tell me where you have been and what you have done.
There are maps of different countries.
And railway passes too.
Hold this, these are change from different countries.
Remember.
The most important thing is to miss us.
We will miss you.
Honey.
I'll wait you at home.
It's so touching. Sis, don't leave.
Although the dialogue is a little bit too commercial,
But it works.
I'm not going now.
I'll stay with you. Would that be okay?
No way.
Please! Let me stay!
We don't have the tickets anymore.
Are you still leaving?
What do you think?
Better not leave us.
Of course I am not leaving.
You did well. Didn't break up their marriage.
Damn you. I love my cousin.
But that big fat man does have his moves, with the tickets.
He's good, but I'll wait for his weakness and pounce.
I'll be back.
Don't let him come back.
Hey bro, you do have some moves.
How did you know
You can persuade her?
I didn't know. But in my heart,
I kept thinking about what she said in our room,
I had children for you, why don't you trust me?
Do you know,
Real love needs real trust.
I trust my wife in whatever she does
Because I love her, powerful eh?
And that's it.
Also, I think that dreams come true
Thing is just an illusion.
You'd better not indulge in it.
How about try voodoo? It seems more powerful.
Voodoo? You think my powers...
No... I am just kidding.
Let's forget it and have some food.
They are just heresies.
Yes.
Feels good!
Honey, let me have a try.
Great...
OK, the other side.
Still a pussy whipped, but he's happy.
Even Gods envy them.
Still asleep at this time, that's more like it.
Miki, we'll have a month holiday.
Maybe we can fly to Japan and enjoy the hot spring.
Oh... But I want to go to Las Vega.
That's cool too...
Okay. But promise me, you'll not gamble.
Of course not, I've listened to you and stopped gambling.
Hey, going to Las Vegas?
In love and act like a normal guy.
But still a fool, looks okay though.
He's completely crazy, but still a nice guy.
Maybe I'll see him up there in 2 years.
Good morning.
I'm sorry, bro.
I was going too far yesterday.
It's fine. I didn't blame you.
So you are not going to chase after Saint?
Cousin.
I got it.
You want to say, your feeling for me is different.
And if it's possible, you'll rather treat...
Me as you your sister.
You are good.
I'll cook you some breakfast.
Okay.
Done.
Hey, it's ready.
To: Cousin and Family
Dear brother, I'm so glad to see you again.
After bothering you for 2 weeks. It's time for me to go.
When I first came, I found your family in such a mess.
All of you seemed so unhelpful.
All you did were arguing in the house.
But after some time I found you do care for each other.
And love each other.
But just using the wrong way.
Thanks for teaching me something, brother.
And that is real love needs real trust!
I'll try my best to look for Saint.
Because I love her.
Finally, I'll tell my sailor friends that...
I have been to a place full of love.
And that is your home. See you. Take care.
Brother.
So now that I'm under Ding's order,
We have to chat in this kind of place?
I don't mean it this way, Pak. Please take a seat.
Come on, relax.
There aren't much people in those high-class restaurants.
It can't keep any secrets there.
But people are a rush in McDonalds.
Where will they have the time to listen to our evil plan?
Be quick then. We'll look for another restaurant to eat after this.
Look, Don's here.
Damn it. Still playing around after he's married,
Even worse, with my wife?
Mrs. Pak has gone too far.
I can't keep my eyes close.
That's why I've thought up a great plan for you.
So you can take over everything she owns in one go.
Really?
As this is a kind of big project,
I got to have a 40% share.
40%?
You got 60% still. You're still the boss.
First tell me your plot.
This time, we're going to kill.
Kill? Murder!
I asked the twins of that Mainlander,
He looks exactly the same as his brother.
As we will have our new year banquet tonight.
We can copy the plot in "The Banquet".
Great plot.
What is "The Banquet"?
It's a movie.
Not many people've seen it.
That's why they wouldn't know.
The Mainlander will...
Poison your wife and Don's wine.
Then I will make it looks like they are in love...
But couldn't be together so they commit suicide.
And you wife will feel ashamed towards you,
And gives you all her money.
Done, let's look for the Earth God.
He's not here, okay, catch up next time then.
Earth God, I was looking for you. I'm leaving.
You can't, there is big trouble.
Your fat friend will not live pass midnight
No way!
I just saw him preparing to go to work.
He was so happy, there's nothing wrong.
But a guy with a receding hairline said he will poison him.
Receding hairline?
Yes, receding hairline said.
Tonight's banquet will follow the plot of "The Arrow".
It's "The Banquet".
Yes, but how do you know? They said nobody had watched it?
I always watch the films that nobody watches.
Never mind, but are you sure that's what you heard?
Yes, they said they would follow the plot of "The Arrow".
Thunder...
Saint...
Saint, I miss you.
Yes, I do have a mortal affair.
But because of this,
I can really feel how the insides of mortals work.
In fact, they are not mere mortals.
In fact, we as Gods can learn a lot from them.
Just like my cousin.
His unacquainted love for his family,
That is something us Gods can't compete with.
I don't know if you understand what I'm saying,
But please do trust me...
As my cousin said,
Real love needs real trust!
Saint, I love you.
Thunder... Me too. I trust you.
Kung Hei Fat Choy...
It's for everyone...
Kung Hei Fat Choy...
I listened to you and share out the decoration money.
They are happy receiving it, I'm happy giving it.
Really?
They used to fear me.
But now, they are happy to see me.
After I give you a raise,
Our company has increased 250% in business.
Don, I have decided to promote you as CEO.
You'll take control of the whole company.
Touching each other so publicly. They should be ashamed.
Mrs. Pak, what're you going to do if I'm the CEO?
I want take a course in Tibet.
And see if I can become a God.
Mrs. Pak, you want to be a God?
Yes, but I need a holy name.
I don't know much about names. How about you?
How about you think of a holy name for me?
Lau, where is the killer?
We came to kill. Please keep your volume down.
You said we can talk about secret...
Wherever there are many people.
Where is the killer?
But all the people here know you.
Your beauty matches the compassion of the late Princess Diana.
And your gesture matches that of Mother Teresa.
How about Mother Diana?
That's not good.
Where is he?
The killer will appear at the right time.
What right time, isn't now the right time?
A little.
Mrs. Pak gives the red pocket.
Not now, during the performance.
Pak, help me with the red pockets.
This is the last time, coming.
Kung Hei Fat Choy...
What are you doing over there, help me give out the red pockets.
It's for everyone.
Saint...
We will go somewhere far away, and leave everything behind.
Thunder, if you keep talking,
They would have drank all the poison.
Oh yeah, right.
Saint, I am not going back with you.
I have something to do. I'll look for you afterward.
No!
Why?
I'm here to tell you...
The Emperor, Monkey, and Piggy has come looking for you.
You'd better go back with me.
No.
You told me.
A God must keep to his word.
If I don't save my cousin,
I would feel bad.
This is the time for me to show
My unacquainted love.
What's that?
Even I can get expel from heaven, I'll have to save my cousin.
Everybody, please look in direction.
We'll have our performance show now.
And the winning team today,
Will receive $100000 cash, sponsored by Mrs. Pak.
Let's welcome our first team.
They are powerful, because...
That's right.
I'm the one who arranged them to be our first performance.
In order to celebrate
The increasing businesses of my wife,
So that all of you have food to eat.
Furthermore, I got to thank my best friend Don.
Don works so hard for our company.
That he even took my job.
Ding Don, Ding Don.
To allow me to have the free time,
To arrange this very special performance.
Look at the time, we only just had appetizer.
At this rate this is not going to finish until tomorrow.
Maybe, your two teams should perform together.
That would work.
The show I prepared for us is called,
The Lion Toasts of The Banquet
We also have our second competitor.
He is my wife's beggar cousin.
He used to drift around Europe and did some street skits.
Today, he is going to perform
A famous legend,
About good and evil.
It can be compare to "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy,
About a fierce struggle.
It is called "Iron Hen Vs The Centipede".
You should stop when the lights turn red.
The Emperor, you said you know the way.
How come we are going round in circle?
Yes, I'm hungry.
Give me some time.
I'll remember it. I have been here before.
When was it?
50 years ago.
50?
50 years in heaven is ten thousands year on earth.
There wasn't any people here then.
That's right. There was something
Tasty looking back there.
My treat! We'll eat first.
Yeah.
Barking Dog.
Thunder.
After him!
Why Iron-Crutch is running so fast?
Thunder.
Where did he go?
We've lost him.
Who are we actually chasing?
With this extra chicken,
Will the plot still works?
Don't worry, the killer will know what to do.
If these two continue like that,
You may waste your 12 years practice.
It's such a mess already,
I don't think they'll mind
If I join in.
But there is no free space.
Of course there is. Over there.
Yes.
Stop talking. Grab the things.
Are we there yet?
Almost, there it is.
On the opposite bank?
- Yes. - Crossing the sea will make us Gods again.
Okay...
Come on.
Look!
Where's the rock?
It's your responsibility.
What are we going to do?
Help him to accomplish his dream.
Come on...
He looks dead, move him to the backstage.
What a disgrace.
Let go!
You want to run away?
You have bitten off my centipede.
But can you beat my hen?
You bastard, do me a favor and kill him.
I am here for the lion dance, I'm not a fool.
You think I'll be scare of your toy gun?
See, I told you he'll think of something.
You said you would poison the wine like "The Banquet".
Now the gun has been fired, everything is out.
It's Plan B.
Plan B. What Plan B?
Plan B is after Plan A.
All the performance finished at once.
Excellent, let's have the main course, Don.
Bastard, go.
Honey!
Honey! Are you okay?
I hope I'll be okay.
Honey, do remember,
Everything from Mainland should not be trusted.
Okay.
What are you calling him?
Honey.
I asked her to stay close to you, and I stayed close to your wife.
So that we can work together inside out.
Who know, you are so tough and strong.
Let me kill you first.
Just save your breath and wait for the ambulance.
Centipede!
Mrs. Pak, Mrs. Pak, get up.
Mrs. Pak, wake up, we need to go.
I was once in love.
Little do I know,
There are no turning back.
Mrs. Pak, let's go.
We're here.
Not here? Follow me.
Stop try anything stupid.
Fatty.
This shot is a gift.
Don't shoot!
Stop!
Why are they all frozen?
The Emperor.
Why can you two move?
We are Gods too.
Oh yeah.
Why did you runaway...
When you saw me? Are you avoiding me?
Of course not.
Thunder, you secretly come to the mortal world.
You know you'll be punished?
Yes, I know.
It's good that you know.
Emperor, even if I am going to be expel from heaven,
I'll have to save my cousin.
You've answered you know, just don't do it again.
Let's talk about something else,
I actually came to the mortal world.
For...
But when I was chasing you, I saw another one...
Do you think it'll work?
Yes...
Where are you going?
Emperor, long time no see.
Thunder.
Emperor.
Emperor, you are in trouble.
I was in the toilet and...
Barking Dog is saying your father is looking for you.
Let's go...
Thunder, if you see my father,
Tell him you haven't seen us.
We are so low rank, we have never seen your father.
Luckily, I love my dad.
This is my father. Remember him.
I am High Emperor Paco!
Let's go...
What's wrong?
How do we deal with this?
In this situation, of course called the police.
As they are all frozen like stones.
Have fun.
Bye, Thunder.
Thunder.
Then who am I?
Thunder.
Stop shooting.
Thunder, I have a question that's been on my mind.
Go ahead.
Why did you come rescuing the fat boy that day?
Oh, yes, it's time to reveal the secret.
It's deal then. Remember...
You'll help me out, if I ever get into trouble.
I am your fans, bye.
Which fan was calling me? Which fan was calling me?
Who hit me with this ball?
Who is it? Is it you? Or you?
So you are the bastard...
Bro, so you are a God?
Yes.
Then all of them are...
They are all Gods. He is my boss Jade Emperor.
I thought he's an actor in Beijing Opera.
Honey, we don't have anything...
To serve the Gods.
Why don't you see if we have incense papers & candles?
You like raw or cooked?
Can I just pass?
Bro,
It's new year, shouldn't we have abalone and oyster?
We don't have it... But we do have bananas.
Let's barbeque them.
BBQ.
I want sausage.
I don't know why... I get full so easily these days.
Luckily with this bottle of spicy sauce, it'll open your appetite...
Eat a little bit more.
Congratulations.
Why do you have this?
It's been in the kitchen all the time.
This is for my waistline,
It's not edible.
What should I do?
This is such a waste.
That's not too bad, now your appetite is smaller,
You can eat less and save more money.
I want a red pocket.
Wishing you good luck and prosperity,
Red pockets please.
Jade Emperor, you have to give red pockets.
But I'm not married.
We all know that Eternal Goddess is your wife.
Not married?
Jade Emperor doesn't give red pockets...
Let's go. Thunder, let's go now.
Wait a second. I'll be quick.
Brother!
Everything is going smoothly for you.
With a new haircut too.
Does it look good?
Of course, I think it'll all be fine.
It's all because of you.
I wonder if you could introduce me to be a God?
No!
But I still prepared a big red pocket for you.
So much.
It's the photos you took with our family.
Take it back up with you as a souvenir.
Brother, may your dreams come true.
Thank you, bro.
I promise you that...
Whenever you are in trouble...
You can visit even when I'm okay.
That's right...
Bye.
Bye...